Huzpaz!

"God is Love, Love is God...God was that dog I held"

"He showed me how to love."

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

:(

Rescue

"He who conquers others is mighty. He who conquers himself is almighty."

.

Admit to yourself, and remember it, that there is absolutely nothing in your life more important

than this one thing

The Most Beautiful

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there"

Bob Marley

"the most beautiful people we know are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out. these people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

beautiful people do not just happen."

elisabeth kubler-ross

Glee Finale!

...had me screaming with delight :)

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter

Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to

If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you

Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade

How to Say I Love You

Written by Hayley Stuart
Directed by Hayley Stuart & Francesca Sophia

very sweet, in days where everything seems so artificial :)

Away

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.

-benjamin disraeli

International Fotographie Wettbewerb

Nazroo, ein Mahout (Elefanttrieber), nimmt eine Pose ein, waehrend sein Elefant, Rajan, schwimmt vor dem Radha Nagar Strand in Havelock, Andaman Inseln. Rajan ist einer einiger Elefanten, der schwimmen kann, und so wenn er kein Bauholz schleppt, ist er wie Touristenattraktion benutzen. Die Beziehung zwischen den Mahout und seinen Elefant halte normallerweise ihre ganze Leben, und sie shafft eine sehr starke Bindung zwischen das Tier und den Mensch. (Foto und Titel von Cesar Naldi)

Nazroo, a mahout (elephant driver), poses for a portrait while taking his elephant, Rajan, out for a swim in front of Radha Nagar Beach in Havelock, Andaman Islands. Rajan is one of the few elephants in Havelock that can swim, so when he is not dragging timber in the forest he is used as a tourist attraction. The relationship between the mahout and his elephant usually lasts for their entire lives, creating an extremely strong tie between the animal and the human being. (Photo and caption by Cesare Naldi)

Holy crud that took forever!

Thanksgiving Cards

How fancy are these? Scratch and Sniff Thanksgiving cards from Melangerie, Inc.

You could take a piece of home wherever you go.

"What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ‘em?"

Calvin and Hobbes

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Been away for awhile, but hopefully I'm coming back!

Same old story, college applications and stress, but a new laptop has definitely cheered me up :)

Feels like, right now, is one of those "move it or lose it" times.
And i'm losing it.
But then again, who isn't?

Gotta keep the chin up and the smile on my face.

















p.s. This is late, but i miss you grandpa.rest in peace. I love you.

One of those...

"High School things"

I mean, how could a girl say no?


"He bought you food?! He's a keeper!"

Harlem, New York





Chinatown, NYC

East Harlem, NY


Caraceni Suit, London


"Old Man Style is hard to beat. Gentlemen of a certain generation learned how to wear their clothes not let their clothes wear them."


Images from the sartorialist.

When It Thundered Through Her

Elizabeth Gilbert, ladies and gents.

How Special You Are

Your presence is a present to the world.
You’re unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days, just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You’ll make it through, whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don’t put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot … goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures are people … together.
Realize that it’s never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health, hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And don’t ever forget …
For even a day …
How very special you are.

Light of Your Face

Lord bless me and keep me
Cause Your face to shine on me
Lord be gracious
Let the light of Your countenance give me peace

i believe that a woman may be stronger than a man,
particularly if she has love in her heart.
i guess a loving woman is indestructible.
john steinbeck { east of eden }

Prompt Me

I've begun Tuesdays with Morrie for the first time, and, halfway through the book, I already decided to read it again. I don't know what I can say that hasn't been said before, but I think I look up to Morrie's simplistic aphorisms, and I really really want to take them to heart - I loathe the way information seems to glide over me, leaving me with eyes glazed, attention diverted.

I want to take what he can teach me, too.

This stubborn old man, who passionately loves life, who contains an unyielding compassion for others, was dying.
And still he taught.
The account of Morrie Schwartz, written by his student (in so many more ways than one), Mitch Albom.

"One afternoon, I am complaining about the confusions of my age, what is expected of me versus what I want for myself.
'Have I told you about the tension of opposites?' he says.
The tension of opposites?
' Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
' A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle.'
Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.
'A wrestling match.' He laughs. 'Yes, you could describe life that way.'
So which side wins, I ask?
'Which side wins?'
He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.
'Love wins. Love always wins.'

And because Love battles

Pablo Neruda

And because love battles
not only in its burning agricultures
but also in the mouth of men and women,
I will finish off by taking the path away
to those who between my chest and your fragrance
want to interpose their obscure plant.

About me, nothing worse
they will tell you, my love,
than what I told you.

I lived in the prairies
before I got to know you
and I did not wait love but I was
laying in wait for and I jumped on the rose.

What more can they tell you?
I am neither good nor bad but a man,
and they will then associate the danger
of my life, which you know
and which with your passion you shared.

And good, this danger
is danger of love, of complete love
for all life,
for all lives,
and if this love brings us
the death and the prisons,
I am sure that your big eyes,
as when I kiss them,
will then close with pride,
into double pride, love,
with your pride and my pride.

But to my ears they will come before
to wear down the tour
of the sweet and hard love which binds us,
and they will say: “The one
you love,
is not a woman for you,
Why do you love her? I think
you could find one more beautiful,
more serious, more deep,
more other, you understand me, look how she’s light,
and what a head she has,
and look at how she dresses,
and etcetera and etcetera”.

And I in these lines say:
Like this I want you, love,
love, Like this I love you,
as you dress
and how your hair lifts up
and how your mouth smiles,
light as the water
of the spring upon the pure stones,
Like this I love you, beloved.

To bread I do not ask to teach me
but only not to lack during every day of life.
I don’t know anything about light, from where
it comes nor where it goes,
I only want the light to light up,
I do not ask to the night
explanations,
I wait for it and it envelops me,
And so you, bread and light
And shadow are.

You came to my life
with what you were bringing,
made
of light and bread and shadow I expected you,
and Like this I need you,
Like this I love you,
and to those who want to hear tomorrow
that which I will not tell them, let them read it here,
and let them back off today because it is early
for these arguments.

Tomorrow we will only give them
a leaf of the tree of our love, a leaf
which will fall on the earth
like if it had been made by our lips
like a kiss which falls
from our invincible heights
to show the fire and the tenderness
of a true love.

You

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. And you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand. Woodrow Wilson

The Great

"I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day
and
I believe in miracles."

Symptoms of Love

Love is a universal migraine,
A bright stain on the vision
Blotting out reason.

Symptoms of true love
Are leanness, jealousy,
Laggard dawns;

Are omens and nightmares—
Listening for a knock,
Waiting for a sign:

For a touch of her fingers
In a darkened room,
For a searching look.

Take courage, lover!
Could you endure such pain
At any hand but hers?

- Robert Grawe

The Story of Our Lives

"I'll tell you how the sun rose
A ribbon at a time...

It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were . . . and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.

So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages in your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?"
— Donald Miller

(Psychoanalyst) Jacques-Alain Miller: On Love

H. W. : “Love is always reciprocal” said Lacan. Is this still true in the current context? What does that mean?

Jacques-Alain Miller : This sentence gets repeated over and over without being understood, or it gets understood the wrong way round. It doesn’t mean that it’s enough to love someone for him to love you back. That would be absurd. It means: ‘If I love you, it’s because you’re loveable. I’m the one that loves, but you’re also mixed up in this, because there’s something in you that makes me love you. It’s reciprocal because there’s a to and fro: the love I have for you is the return effect of the cause of love that you are for me. So, you’re implicated. My love for you isn’t just my affair, it’s yours too. My love says something about you that maybe you yourself don’t know.’

This doesn’t guarantee in the least that the love of one will be responded to by the love of the other: when that happens it’s always of the order of a miracle, it’s not calculable in advance.

I carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it?s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that?s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e. e. cummings.

Bittersweet Life

Doubt is an evil, evil thing.
Poisons the heart, mind, and soul.

3 Loves

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times.

Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.

Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.

And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that you needed the most.

But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.

— Unknown

"All Consuming Fire

Thinking about getting baptized.
Seriously.

You're our heart's desire
Living flame of love
Come baptize us."

Forever

I spent a full 5 minutes and 9 seconds grinning at my monitor.
What a wonderful way to end the day :)

"Your Life Is Like A Jesus Fairytale!"

Um, yeah, kinda.
But only cause of his grace.
Basically, what's been happening in these few weeks is that God's been moving in my life and turning me inside out. He's awakening the dead parts and bringing them back to life, and doing some major inner healing :D

Pain's Principle

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.
People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit.
Love hurts.
Feelings are disturbing.
People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.
How can they deal with love if theyr'e afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up.
People try and hide their pain. But they're wrong.
Pain is something you carry, like a radio.
You feel your strength in the experience of pain.
It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters.
Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are part of you.
Your own reality.
If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality.
You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. "

- Jim Morrisson

The Man Who Didn't Believe In Love

There was once a man who didn’t believe in love. This was an ordinary man just like you and me, but what made this man special was his way of thinking: He thought love doesn’t exist. Of course, he had a lot of experience trying to find love, and he observed the people around him. Much of his life had been spent searching for love, only to find that love didn’t exist.

Wherever this man went, he would tell people of his thoughts and opinions on love. This man was highly intelligent, and he was very convincing. What he said was the love is just like a drug; it makes you very high, but it creates a strong need. You can become highly addicted to love, but what happens when you don’t receive your daily doses of love? Just like a drug, you need your everyday doses.

He used to say that most relationships between lovers are just like a relationship between a drug addict and the one who provides the drugs. The one who has the biggest need is like the drug addict; the one who has a little need is like the provider. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. You can see this dynamic so clearly because usually in every relationship there is one who loves the most and the other who doesn’t love as much. You can see the way they manipulate each other, their actions and reactions, and they are just like the provider and the drug addict.

The drug addict, the one who has the biggest need, lives in constant fear that perhaps he will not be able to get the next dosage of love, or the drug. The drug addict thinks, “What am I going to do if she leaves me?” That fear makes the drug addict very possessive. “That’s mine!” The addict becomes jealous and demanding, because the fear of not having the next dosage. The provider can control and manipulate the one who needs the drug by giving more doses, fewer doses, or no doses at all. The one who has the biggest need completely surrenders and will whatever he can to avoid being abandoned.

The man went on explain to everyone why love doesn’t exist, and how what humans call ‘love’ is nothing but a fear relationship based on control. So many promises are made to each other: to live together forever, to love and respect each other, through the good times and the bad times but after marriage, you can see that none of these promises are kept.

What you find is a war of control to see who will manipulate whom. Who will be the provider? And who will have the addiction. You find that a few months later, the respect that they swear to have for each other is gone. You can see the resentment, the emotional poison, how they hurt each other, little by little, and it grows and grows, until they don’t know when the love stops. They stay together because they are afraid to be alone, afraid of the opinions and judgments of others, and also afraid of their judgments and opinions. But where is the love?

The man went on and on about all the reasons why he believed love doesn’t exist.

The one day this man was walking in a park, and there on a bench was a beautiful lady who was crying. When he saw her crying, felt curiosity. Sitting beside her, he asked if he could help her. He asked why she was crying. You can imagine his surprise when she told him she was crying because love doesn’t exist. “This is amazing—a woman who believes that love doesn’t exist!” Of course he wanted to know more about her.

He asked her why she felt that love doesn’t exist and she told him about her marriage and how she and her husband had both lost respect for each other. She told him about how they hurt each other, and at a certain point she discovered that she didn’t love him and that he didn’t love her either. ‘But the children need a father, and that was my excuse to stay and to do whatever I could to support him. Now the children are grown up and they have left. I no longer have any excuse to stay with him….There is no sense to look around for something that doesn’t exist. That is why I am crying.’

Understand her very well, he embraced her and said, you are right; love doesn’t exist. We look for love, we open our heart and we become vulnerable, just to find selfishness. That hurts us even if we don’t think we will be hurt. It doesn’t matter how many relationships we have; the same thing happens again and again. Why even search for love any longer?”

They were so much alike, and they became the best friends ever. It was a wonderful relationship. They respected each other, and they never put each other down. With every step they took together, they were happy. There was no envy or jealousy, there was no control, and there was no possessiveness. The relationship kept growing and growing. They loved to be together, because when they were together, they had a lot of fun. When they were not together, they missed each other.

One day when the man was out of town, he had the weirdest idea. He was thinking, ‘Hmm, maybe what I feel for her is love. But this is so different from what I have ever felt before. It’s not what the poets say it is, it’s not what religion says it is, because I am not responsible for her. I don’t take anything from her; I don’t have the need for her to take care of me; I don’t need to blame her for my difficulties or to take my dramas to her. We have the best time together; we enjoy each other. I respect the way she thinks, the way she feels. She doesn’t embarrass me; she doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t feel jealous when she’s with other people; I don’t feel envy when she is successful. Perhaps love does exist, but it’s not what everyone thinks love is.’

He could hardly wait to go back home and talk to her, to let her know about his weird idea. As soon as he started talking, she knew exactly what he was talking about. She felt the same way. They decided to become lovers and to live together, and it was amazing that things didn’t change. They still respected each other, they were still supportive of each other, and the love grew more and more.

The man’s heart was so full with all the love he felt that one night a great miracle happened. He was looking at the stars and he found the most beautiful one, and his love was so big that the star started coming down from the sky and soon that star was in his hands. Then a second miracle happened, and his soul merged with that star. He was intensely happy, and he could hardly wait to go to the woman and put that start in her hands to prove his love for her. As soon as he put the star in her hands, she felt a moment of doubt. This love was overwhelming, and in that moment, the star fell from her hands and broke in a million of little pieces.

Now there is an old man walking around the world swearing that love doesn’t exist. And there is a beautiful old woman at home waiting for a man, shedding a tear for a paradise that once she had in her hands, but for one moment of doubt, she let it go. This is the story about the man who didn’t believe in love.

Who made the mistake? Do you want to guess what went wrong? The mistake was on the man’s part in thinking he could give the woman his happiness. The star was his happiness, and his mistake was to put his happiness in her hands. Happiness never comes from outside of us. He was happy because of the love coming out of him; she was happy because of the love coming out of her. But as soon as he made her responsible for his happiness, she broke the star because she could not be responsible for his happiness.

No matter how much the woman loved him, she could never make him happy because she could never know what he had in his mind. She could never know what his expectations were, because she could not know his dreams.

If you take your happiness, and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away. Then if happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love, you are responsible for your own happiness. We can never make anyone responsible for our own happiness, but when we go to the church to get married, the first thing we do is exchange rings. We put our star in each other’s hands, expecting that she is going to make you happy, and you are going to make her happy. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

That is the mistake most of us make right from the beginning. We base our happiness on our partner and it doesn’t work that way. We make all those promises that we cannot keep, and we set ourselves up to fail.

This is written by Don Miguel Ruiz. Its in his book, the mastery of love.

" And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8

As We Forgive

These people are undeniably, incredibly, beautiful.

"Forgiveness is not natural, not human - it is divine.
Forgiveness is the final form of love."

Shine

Well, let the sun shine on your face
And don't let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

Watch the Sky

it is an excerpt of the commencement speech given to this year's graduating class at the university of portland. given by Paul Hawken (author, environmentalist, and entrepreneur).

you can find the whole speech here.

"When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren’t pessimistic, you don’t understand the data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren’t optimistic, you haven’t got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world."

"Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every

thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would create new religions overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.

This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every

moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss.

The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it."

and then of course there is this bit:

...can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. You can feel it. It is called life. This is who you are.

Change

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

ee cummings


Things are going to be different, aren't they?

Restless

sd: studying abroad?

Kimbo: yeah

sd: cool cool

sd: get away from this city as far away as possible!

sd: its not healthy being here, trust me!

sd: there's just so much more that's out of this town!

Lately, I've got an itch.
Something, always in the back of my mind, twisting my sight and pulling my head elsewhere.
There's more than this.

I just asked about 10 of the most reckless drivers I know, if they'd take me out for a drive on the highway.
The one time you'd ask for a fast driver, and they're nowhere to be found.
Much like other things you ask for.
Freaking Jon.

"Hey, wanna go for a ride?"
Sitting on the trunk of his car, blasting music and just chatting was so much fun! Sliding into the passenger seat and chasing michael out of the parking lot was even better. Not to mention rolling down the windows and letting him drive as fast as he wanted.

Something simple, something small, released a beast ready for action.


haha :)

I LOVE YOU ALDER!

Evidence of summer fun (of which i did not partake in):


Let me see...

Lust, Caution
Met some parentals D: shxt.
Swimming with Amers and Em. Pure love.
SYTYCD and Internet bonding with Amers and Asu

but there'll always be sometime to see a friend

K: :D

k: are we friends?!?!

K:

323190857 (12:14:10 PM): sure we drank together (i hate irregular verbs )

323190857 (12:14:16 PM): drunk?

K: Hahaha drank

K: does that make us friends?

323190857 (12:15:07 PM): not really but where's the problem?

323190857 (12:15:09 PM): ^^

K: i love making friends

323190857 (12:15:41 PM): okay then i want to be one of yours

Yayy!!
Childish fun :)

I think there's something delightful about declaring "friend" status in a straighforward kind of way.

Seraphine

"She paints because of a kind of spiritual compulsion, as if she were a devout member of a religion with but a single worshiper. Art is not a choice or an option but a brutal necessity."

" Her Seraphine can seem both indifferent and passionate, timid and bossy, a fierce and stubborn force to be reckoned with who lights up the screen with a delicate half-smile. What we are watching finally is not a performance but a life." -Kenneth Turan

really liked the terminology .

A Piece of Home

COME HOME SOON DAMNIT.

Welcome to the U.S.

Click me, I'm amazing!

E: what the heck you go to Germany

E: and then

E: come back with better AMERICAN music LOL. Walking through the passport gates, I definitely knew I was back in America when KT and I passed 2 security guards and she heard: "What the fuck!?" Only in America :) That, and the fact that all the officers and staff working at the airport were Asian. and friendly.

As cheesy as it is, and I don't think anyone believes me as often as i've said it, but I think I'm in love with Germany.
Especially the greenery.
To me, the white, picturesque, textured clouds swiftly gliding across a a rich blue sky stretching out over me screams home to me more than the concrete and steel jungle of SJ.
Standing at the top of Siegelssaeule,watching the great expanse of trees patterned in front of me in 4 directions, and being able to see the Brandenburger Tor, Reichstag, Sony Center, Fernseher Turm, and other pieces of history centered in one city means more to me than anything.

sigh.

Besides, Alder's cherries were way better.

BUT!
The one thing Germany can never substitute is Emily&Diana (to make that grammatically correct, you two are the saaamee beeeingggg)
My coming home package: 5 recording of SYTYCD (NOW WHO WATCHED RELIGIOUSLY?!?!?), 1 box almond crush Pocky, Chocolate Hello Pandas, 1 Strawberry Yanyan, 7 packs of BallCake, and a letter and a list and a new bracelet :) made with love.
Letters are my faaaveee
Packed with love and received with love.
Come home soon DW!!! I have something for you :) (its small, im poor. dont give me that look.)
We have to travel together next summer :)


Hey, Alder, send me a letter >)

Berlin?

Hey FDA:

make a blog :) haha


So I discovered how to AIM people's ICQs today :) Best discovery ever! Talking to FDA, Flo and Tarik always cheers me up! Man I'm going to miss seeing their smiles in america :/ or at least until i see them again! (WHICH I DEF WILL.)

Seeing all the people who came to see the americans off really touched me. it was so thoughtful and kind of them to show up :/ Special shoutouts to Florian (hurray, staying up all night!), Ina - she's so sweet :(, and Justus (Lambhorgini smellstuf :D) for coming <3 I know you didn't have to, but it was so nice of you...sorry for crying on all of you guys =.=

Things I saw today:
Jewish WWII Memorial
Homosexual WWII Memorial
WWII Gay Pencil (not. even. kidding)
Checkpoint Charlie Memorial
Fueherbunker (was)
Schloss Charlottenburg
Tierpark..thingie.. with Goethe statue
Brandenburger Tor
Kunstbewerbmuseum
National Gallerie
Sony Center

hoo-boy. I'm pooped



SERIOUSL HATE THE INTERNET HERE

Goodnight

Love you Alder :)

I dont want to leave here
623 am
herford


stayed awake to say bye to my daddy before he left for work
gave them their letter
cried like a baby
got hugs from mom and dad

finishing letters
must shower
pack
etc



dont care, i want to stay, i dont want to leave

i found out that i guess germans dont say it to each other a lot

but i do love you

from the bottom of my black, tiny heart

and part of love, for me, is knowing that when i'm with someone

i could be happy with them forever

Bosh ‎(05:49):

thank you :)
I love you too, in the same way and it's making me really sad that you have to leave so soon. time really runs when it'S nice -.-

oh herford

Leaving home

Going to Berlin tomorrow, via 3 hour bus ride.


Shit.



I'm going to miss my family like crazy.


"love your family with all of your heart (:

they're yours forever to keep"

That's all.

Because really, I don't need anything else.