2011

In 2011 I began with being very well loved. I spent my break with Asu and Koi running around. I was haunted by dreams three times. I learned to walk from bad relationships. I realized I learned how to protect myself. I called someone a whore and gave him the finger. It was glorious.

I saw the alps and got to know my padre better in the hidden alleyways of Zurich. I took naps in parks and went grocery shopping for meals with him. We always bought watermelon. I ziplined through the rain forest. I saw my sister crush on a tanned CR with some gnarly scars and a pair of dimples. I swam in the Carribean with fish and dogs. I danced on the beaches of Costa Rica and walked into warm waves at night. I sun burned the entirety of my forehead. "....You.... You are red like lobster."

I lived in a crazy home. I went to the ER. I told secrets at night. Mark petted my hair, Eden&Isa, Sam, Menaka, Carlos, Max. Now they all know. Whew. I met my family. Strong, independent, witty, creative, crazy people with the biggest hearts. Holly, Stella, Marcia and my neighbor-ino Christina. Jojo, Zak, and Pardeep. Waking up every morning to Ben and Menaka's sunny face drinking endless jars and jars of coffee or PuErh tea. I watched the final Harry Potter dressed as a death eater. Wands were picked up along the way. M took me for a walk in the Berkeley Rose garden, and we ate rose petals. Came home to Menaka, Eden & Isa making good luck/I love you posters and Maxy's wonderful peanut banana chocolate chip cookies. I cried. We danced on the rooftop and stooped hard in the lazy sun. We made bubbles out of old paper towel rolls and washed dishes together. We cooked delicious food and sang our hearts out in the kitchen. Really, our hearts out. Props may have been involved. Holly kissed our heads goodnight while we cuddled on the couch. I laughed my ass off at Eden's antics ("Once I ordered sdjfls.. and it was drowning in sauce!" "Once I ordered veal and they gave me unicorn."). I love Angela's cool indifference. One hot mamcita, she is. Listened to M, Walbridge, and Fernando play FIFA down the hall. We watched the sun go down. Special dinner. I danced with you in your room. You kissed me on the head and boy did you look fancy in your suspenders and tie. Swoon. I learned what "being home" meant. Coming home to excited cries of "Kimbo!!!" and open arms. And cookies. The cookies were great.

Right after summer finals and baking a storm. Oreos were involved. I went to Outsidelands with M and Kitchin, and briefly met up with Walbridge. his sister is tall and gorgeous.. I saw Major Laser, Girls!, The Tuneyards, Beirut, DeadMau5!!! And the life changing Arcade Fire. She sang and danced on stage like a fairy. He put his soul into his music. Never before have I seen an entire crowd of thousands of people dancing and shouting all of the words to anything. Crammed back on the muni and went back home, only to see a friend from nerd camp

I went to Disneyland. I cried a lot. The Wonderful World of Color. And oh, what a wonderful world it is.

I went to Identity. Holy shit.

I pushed my body for three days on four different drugs. Then I baked pear bread. I lay in M's bed having an existential crisis. He bought me flowers. I studied. I didn't see the sun for several days (there are no windows in the Civil Engineering Building). I worked hard. I learned. I am learning.

I met the most wonderful man, ever. He is everything I have ever dreamt of and so much more. Which is really perfect because, and let's face it: neither of us wanted it. But he is kind, gracious, gentle, intelligent, understanding, and driven. He is also much wiser than me and comprehends social dynamics much better, then articulates them eloquently. I think one of the things I like about him is that he is not the type to promise the moon and the stars, but simply delivers. Oh gross, look at this.

This year I learned about love. I learned how to be loved. And I learned I am loved in ways I do not deserve and let me tell you: it is humbling. I am so blessed to have you all.

"2011 was good to me. It was also my strangest year to date, which is how I measure success. I believe that if I'm living my life the way I should, the best year of my life will always be the last one that I lived. "Best year" doesn't mean that all of my hopes and dreams have come true. And a year where all of my hopes and dreams have come true wouldn't necessarily be my best, but perhaps just be my most unexpected one. Best year for me doesn't mean that everything was peachy. And in fact, for a best year to happen, things probably can't be all peachy. That's because a best year is one full of personal growth and change, variety, accomplishment on both a macro and micro-level, and an endless string of bizarre experiences to relay to you. And by that standard, 2011 has easily been my best year to date." - It Just Gets Stranger

Excitement, disappointment, love and strange. I am coming into my own. I discovering my identity and becoming more comfortable with who I am. So bring it, 2012!