intense

i'm in love with both AH!'s :)

truly madly deeply

k: i have a question allen

a: i will try to find you an answer :)

Platonic boy friends are love
pure, unadulterated love


oh yeah. jOke you're awesome too :)

o: FUKIN KID NEEDS TO GET RAPED BY BLACK PPL

o: LOL

k: LOL

k: loves you

o: fukin moron

o: wth is that

I think i kind of look up to veronica
" Hi, I'm ___ and i'm ____"

" Hi, i'm jerry and i'm loyal"
" Hi, I'm calvin and i'm giving"
"Hi, I'm awkward. berly. i mean kim. i mean. hi. "
" Hi i'm kevin and i'm intense"

Edit:
okay
what the hell am i sad for
i feel so motherfucking
so
mother
fucking
LOVED.

A: ):

A: kim

A: if xxxxx

A: i will pay my rapist mexican neighbors

A: to fck himup


so mother fucking loved
e, jOke, AH!, ah, auzz
so mother
fucking
intense.

and james, you are fucking mind blowing.
James: I finally told her I loved her (:

k: WHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTT

James: To be honest, even if I get rejected, I don't mind

James: Ever since I thought about it, I realized love only made me stronger and I guess a little more mature

James:

James: So yeah

James: Yeah I know I am. It takes nerves but hey, you'll never get what you want if you don't try

James: That quote has seriously gotten me what I have ever wished for (:

James: I urge you to try it out

James: and I have to go now D: stop holding me back haha

James: I'm going to sleep early from today

James: At least try

James:

k: i tried out your quote

k: its never done me like

k: SUPER good

James: youre not trying hard enough

k: i guess

k: i didnt really want it

James I swear to God it'll get you places

James: Yeah thats where a second quote comes in

James: "How bad do you want it?"

k: frown

James: Not a lot I assume

holy fucking shit.



i am stunned.

am i supposed to go before you guys go out to eat"?

i'm too direct to ask like..subtly if you guys want me to go before
or if i' not invited
of w

you are coming.
or if you have to go home i'll take you

I LOVE KIMBO!!!

houes

ich bin nach Sarahs Haus
Allen ist bis mein Fuss

ich bin muede


today was a good day
:)


SAM AND YINING YOU OWE ME A SONG BITCHES.

shine

AH!: that's despicable

AH!: you deserve better.

K: boys are confusing

K: i think i do too

AH!: you definitely do.

AH!: I think the only confusing part about boys though is how stupid they can be.

k: i know i hafta xxxxxxxxx

k: and I'm okay with that

k: i just don't know what comes next

AH!: mm.

AH!: let's think about that when we get there.

AH!: xxxxx is a Godly act

AH!: God will back you up.

AH!: I promise!

i guess i'm still learning my lessons.
Let's start with rule #1: love one another.


i got surprised. i wasn't careful.
it won't happen again.

AH!: kim, you can't rid yourself of what God gave you.

AH: having expectations means you're not a welcome mat.

K: i guess so...

AH: <3

K: it still seems messed up

AH: that's because not everyone is as good--that's right, good, not bad--as you are.

AH: did you know that out of all the people I know (and I know a lot of people) you're one of the three or four people who I know I can really count on?

AH: I've only known you for like what

AH: two years?

AH: barely!

AH: you've proven so much to me.

AH: don't beat yourself up over this

ah :)

k: you are massive giver of ego boosts

AH: oh no you di-in't

K: hahaha

AH: you did not just call my truths ego boosts

AH: they're truths, love.

AH: ego boosts would be like

AH: hm lol I can't think of any

AH: YOU KNOW WHY I CAN'T

AH: BECAUSE I DON'T DO EGO BOOSTS

AH: I deal in honesty, baby

AH: mmmmmmm-hmmmmmmmmmm

AH: lol ego boosts would be like OMG KIM YOU HAIR IS SO SIIILKY AND BLAAAAAAACK I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH BLACK HAIR BEFORE OMG

AH: ^--- OKAY THAT WAS LAME

AH: ^--- BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

K: LOLOLOL

K: my hair is BROWN!

K: sob

K: you never noticed ;P

AH: what

AH: WHAT

AH: K-KIM REMEMBER

AH: BOYS ARE STUPID

AH: cut me some slack here

I'm pretty sure you're in my life for a reason, AH! :) to keep me grounded and optimistic and not as misanthropic as i could be. thanks.

Disappoint

1. To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of.
2. To frustrate or thwart: "I will not disappoint the confidence you have put in me" (Wayne A. Budd).

v. intr.
To cause disappointment.





I think I'm not angry.
Yeah, sad. maybe its my fault and i should've known better.
i spent 2 hours arguing with myself last night
i dont know which one should win
complete dichotomy
complete lock down might, i think.
but that's not in me

i'm terribly homesick
i want to go home
i want to go back to a place where it feels like home
i don't want to constantly be wary
i feel the most scared and at peace with you
mostly scared.



i feel dry, my throat caked with unspoken things, things i won't say, or won't let myself say. A little lost.
and at the same time, like i'm drowning, waiting for that first gasp of air, lungs being freed from constriction.


i ain't got a metaphor for that.
it just hurts.

i still love him. fucker.
+ hate. lots of hate you motherfucker.

THIS IS TOO FRUSTRATING FOR ONE PERSON TO THINK ABOUT


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise, oh
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

I shall forget you presently, my dear

I shall forget you presently, my dear,
So make the most of this, your little day,
Your little month, your little half a year,
Ere I forget, or die, or move away,
And we are done forever; by and by
I shall forget you, as I said, but now,
If you entreat me with your loveliest lie
I will protest you with my favourite vow.
I would indeed that love were longer-lived,
And oaths were not so brittle as they are,
But so it is, and nature has contrived
To struggle on without a break thus far, —
Whether or not we find what we are seeking
Is idle, biologically speaking.

by Edna St. Vincent Millay.

James: I was just going to accuse you of losing my quiz but I found out I just took it out of my binder

k: lol

k: you beezy

k: i wouldn't have lost it

k: i tucked it back in and everything

James: haha yeah I was like where did you poof off to then I found my quiz in my binder

k: yeah!i even put it in the right section and everything!!!

James: arigatou---- (:

k: penis.

James: :O !

James: your virgin little mouth. How dare you.

ROFL.
Today was a good day
brain exercised unfruitful, but still good
diva and starmites!
chocolate!
secretscript
UMASS DYNAMICS!

Oh yeah, and INNUENDO:
k: browwwn womannn

k:get a tan one?

k: :X

k: roffle

e: LOLL

e: a tan white eyeliner

e: XD

k: mm it sokay

k: some people

k: like me

k: love our chocolate

k: ;]

e: ;]]

e: you're the only white chocolate i'll ever eat ;]

e: BUT NOT LIKE THAT

e: BUT

e: YAKNOW.

Sticky

Bolitoglossa.
They can regenerate lost limbs
I wonder what it would be like if people could piece together hearts.

So cute. I'd love to have a tree-climbing salamander for a pet
Although i'm pretty sure this kind is poisonous (see: bright colours )

Surprise!

Today, I love:
Loping down grassy hills
Hauling ass. i mean signs.
Fitting 3 in a trunk
Seeing tetrahedral shapes in the city. or trigonal planar...


Signs & Surprises



Attempting to stash signs in trunksBeing deliquescent



Leaving a mark.

Trying to figure out how to blow out a candle that doesn't go out!
Oh, yeah, my sister's home.

DW has a blog! :)
Hurrayy!!!!
Although now it'll be harder to be supersneakyesoteric >)

Fair

“Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.”

Seems like i'm doing nothing on my blog but promotion and other odds and ends. *Note: contact chao foundation & paul dateh & timbetold
I guess its just easier to rant and rave than it is to, as Y said " i can't have my happiness and joy fully expressed or contained on a BLOG!"
But anger does?
how strange!

Dear Sam & Y:
This week, I know you two are on spring break.
I hope you keep in mind your promise.
"Where's my song?"
"Sometime this week. I gota put love and time into it. Don't rush me nigg"
I'm very excited to hear it, just for me :)
Kimbo


achoo.

I really really like the jewharp
and guitars in shopping centers
playing mahjong on tables
eating in curry houses :) (Thanks for the treat-out, Daniel)
collaborating with my fellow march birthdays (JChang, my nontwin)


Dear Ant:
You are really good at waking me up.
I hate you.
I love sleep.
What the crap is wrong with you.
"WHAT DID I MSG YOU?!?"

Dear :
I wish i could help you
I don't to push it on you, like to demand reception of help
But I wish I could.
I don't like seeing you sad.
I think a couple of us should hang out
I don't want to threaten you.
Love,
Kim


WAHAHAHA AM I ESOTERIC?!?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!!?

Just kidding.



Seriously, boys confuse me.
Hello, strange asian girl-that-could-be-me
It seems we have something in common!
How delightful.
Perhaps one day we can braid each other's hair and giggle.
Maybe even cry together.
Then again, maybe not.
I don't like that pencil you're holding, there.







Judgy McJudger :)

Maybe

I think I could be in love with someone like you.

Notte Sento (English subtitles) from napdan on Vimeo.
A short stop-motion film, made with over 4500 photographs.
Aesthetically gorgeous and sweet.
"Play your favorite song"


You.

You are loved. I know that you’ve heard it before, but take a moment to really think about it. Think about the people who see something special in you—something worth treasuring. Think about the ones who feel blessed because you are in their life, in whatever way. Because no one in forced to love you. Yet they choose to, every day.

Hating is easy. It’s as simple as picking out something in another person—however small or big—and running with it. But loving, that isn’t so simple. Loving another is an investment, and it is not as easy as settling on a single aspect of a person. To love takes work.

So RIGHT NOW, stop reading this and think about all the people who consider you worth it. Think of all the ones who are willing to put an emotional investment into you. Think about the people who care about you and see something wonderful in you.

Yes, you are loved.

Thanks for everything guys :)

Far East Movement

So my friend Conrad is in second place for this video concert, and if he wins, he and his crew get to perform with FM. Vote for them here (at the poll on the right)

Yes, CJay i'm doing this for you.

HOOK
ME
UP.

ISA 2009

All sorts of trouble with my camera last night (dying out on me, me dropping a battery into the dark....)
Losing my ISA t-shirt
Sitting through traffic
not getting pictures with people
BUT
OH man

Paul Dateh You are so talented

Jin you are cute
EM - all the single ladies!
The Asylum- asian guy in neon blue skinnies, hairband, kicks, and all
WONGFU
FEM - Kev!!!!
Passion is sweet :< and his grandmother Mama D, you are too good to me you sweetheart :) Good job Tammy, leanne, mimi, monica

I spent tooooo much money
But i loved every second of it.
more later!

I'm walkin' on air
Livin' on a prayer
I look up at the sky and I feel like a millionaire

ASB EXEC VP

Hahaha I couldn't help but think of you when i saw this :)

"Its this distinct feeling i get in my chest.
and a physical feeling.
and it kind of tickles."


"i didn't see you there"

" oh. it is okay :] you'll do better next time."

sweetness.

500 Days of Summer

I love Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt :)
Count me in

No Words

"I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that."

"Human beings are funny.
They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly.
Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear.
Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned.
But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is
their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection,
even if it kills them slowly within."

S. Freud

Having the right to disagree does not give you the right to disrespect.

I AM SO CONFUSED.

WHY DOES EVERYONE TURN SWEET AT THE SAME TIME AND SURPRISE ME?

I guess, for once, exhaustion is taking me.
I'm so tired.
so tired.



"Fight the good fight."

A: Other than the fact that you're XXXXX (:

K: xxxxx?

A: (Abby made me)

Black Lung, I hate you.
At least Sunshine fits her name.
:<
BABOON LOLOLOLOLOL
NEVER MIND I LIKE MY NAME.

Birthday wishes

Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest
Happy birthday, E dearest


(:

OHMniscient

(via justin :) )

Maturity.

James: I can like

James: imagine you cursing back at your teachers in Chinese

James: "No fuck you"

James: like the way you curse at the rest of us

k: (:

k: you know i found out a lot of people take my cussing seriously

k: and i'm like

k: dude chill out

k: don't take things so personally

k: MOTHAFUCKAAA (:

James: I find you absolutely hilarious

James: You pop in some explicit words at the most unexpected times

James: Or sometimes actions speak louder than words LOL

James: "Hey Kim, what do we do?"
*Kim's face on table ignoring*

The Science of Lies

"In an ideal society there would be no need for lies. But we all live in a world of deception. Whether you want to play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win?"




Maybe I should stop.
The people I like best, generally, are the people I feel like I can be honest with.
jOke. jokE. AH!. E.
So here, we have a situation:
You.
I don't trust you. I don't.
How strange. I want to, but its been proven I can't.
And don't give me shit; I know you do it.
You're just better at it than me.
So yeah, that's how I can look at you and pull some fucking shit out my ass.
And you.
I want to, I don't know yet.
Don't prove me wrong.
Except I know you will.
And it'll sting.


Be honest with me; I'll be honest with you.
A trade-off.
And you don't deserve anything more.

*Neuro-linguistic programming
* catch a liar
* Bazuki





As much as I hate to admit it, I need a hug.
Or a hiding place.
Somewhere secure.
Safe.
Help.

The Secret to Cookies.

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
(via I belong in a field.)

today, i realized that i still miss you

but i think we all miss somebody we shouldn’t be missing for reasons we shouldn’t be missing them for — for all the wrong reasons, and nothing more.

AH!: You're pretty beautiful yourself, you know.

AH!: I think you forget that sometimes!
"I think i forget, too."

AH!: as long as you know fosho!

AH!: things can be remembered.

You are beautiful, she says.

The boy she loves with all her heart replies: I love a girl. She is my girlfriend. She is very pretty. I think you'd like her.

She nods, and starts to cry.

I looked into the mirror today

And I smiled.
Not to admire
But because I was pleased with what i saw:
A healthy, happy youth
Still learning
Still growing
Ready to leap over, under, and weave through obstacles.

An Incomplete Manifesto for Growth

1. Allow events to change you.
You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

2. Forget about good.Good is a known quantity.
Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you’ll never have real growth.

3. Process is more important than outcome.
When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we’ve already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.

4. Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child).
Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.

5. Go deep.
The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value.

6. Capture accidents.
The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions.

7. Study.
A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit.

8. Drift.
Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism.

9. Begin anywhere.
John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere.

10. Everyone is a leader.
Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead.

11. Harvest ideas.
Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications.

12. Keep moving.
The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice.

13. Slow down.
Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves.

14. Don’t be cool.
Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort.

15. Ask stupid questions.
Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant.

16. Collaborate.
The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential.

17. ____________________.
Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others.

18. Stay up late.
Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you’re separated from the rest of the world.

19. Work the metaphor.
Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for.

20. Be careful to take risks.
Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.

21. Repeat yourself.
If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again.

22. Make your own tools.
Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference.

23. Stand on someone’s shoulders.
You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better.

24. Avoid software.
The problem with software is that everyone has it.

25. Don’t clean your desk.
You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight.

26. Don’t enter awards competitions.
Just don’t. It’s not good for you.

27. Read only left-hand pages.
Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our “noodle.”

28. Make new words.
Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions.

29. Think with your mind.
Forget technology. Creativity is not device-dependent.

30. Organization = Liberty.
Real innovation in design, or any other field, happens in context. That context is usually some form of cooperatively managed enterprise. Frank Gehry, for instance, is only able to realize Bilbao because his studio can deliver it on budget. The myth of a split between “creatives” and “suits” is what Leonard Cohen calls a ‘charming artifact of the past.’

31. Don’t borrow money.
Once again, Frank Gehry’s advice. By maintaining financial control, we maintain creative control. It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s surprising how hard it is to maintain this discipline, and how many have failed.

32. Listen carefully.
Every collaborator who enters our orbit brings with him or her a world more strange and complex than any we could ever hope to imagine. By listening to the details and the subtlety of their needs, desires, or ambitions, we fold their world onto our own. Neither party will ever be the same.

33. Take field trips.
The bandwidth of the world is greater than that of your TV set, or the Internet, or even a totally immersive, interactive, dynamically rendered, object-oriented, real-time, computer graphic–simulated environment.

34. Make mistakes faster.
This isn’t my idea — I borrowed it. I think it belongs to Andy Grove.

35. Imitate.
Don’t be shy about it. Try to get as close as you can. You’ll never get all the way, and the separation might be truly remarkable. We have only to look to Richard Hamilton and his version of Marcel Duchamp’s large glass to see how rich, discredited, and underused imitation is as a technique.

36. Scat.
When you forget the words, do what Ella did: make up something else … but not words.

37. Break it, stretch it, bend it, crush it, crack it, fold it.

38. Explore the other edge.
Great liberty exists when we avoid trying to run with the technological pack. We can’t find the leading edge because it’s trampled underfoot. Try using old-tech equipment made obsolete by an economic cycle but still rich with potential.

39. Coffee breaks, cab rides, green rooms.
Real growth often happens outside of where we intend it to, in the interstitial spaces — what Dr. Seuss calls “the waiting place.” Hans Ulrich Obrist once organized a science and art conference with all of the infrastructure of a conference — the parties, chats, lunches, airport arrivals — but with no actual conference. Apparently it was hugely successful and spawned many ongoing collaborations.

40. Avoid fields.
Jump fences. Disciplinary boundaries and regulatory regimes are attempts to control the wilding of creative life. They are often understandable efforts to order what are manifold, complex, evolutionary processes. Our job is to jump the fences and cross the fields.

41. Laugh.
People visiting the studio often comment on how much we laugh. Since I’ve become aware of this, I use it as a barometer of how comfortably we are expressing ourselves.

42. Remember.
Growth is only possible as a product of history. Without memory, innovation is merely novelty. History gives growth a direction. But a memory is never perfect. Every memory is a degraded or composite image of a previous moment or event. That’s what makes us aware of its quality as a past and not a present. It means that every memory is new, a partial construct different from its source, and, as such, a potential for growth itself.

43. Power to the people.
Play can only happen when people feel they have control over their lives. We can’t be free agents if we’re not free.

— Bruce Mau (via thebarstoolromantic)(via beautifulnobody )

"I'm afraid of falling," she said.
" I have wings," he whispered.