You can count on me like 1, 2, 3

Sometimes it feels like I need to constantly explain myself. I need to explain my relationships.

As if I actually knew what makes people stick together. Thankfully, I remember its none of your goddammed business.

I think its just proof that you only know me less than you think. If you did, you'd understand how much it terrifies me to think about losing people to the enormous, soul-sucking monster that is Romantic Relationships. You could go a whole lifetime with maybe three intensely loyal, trustworthy platonic friends. A romantic one? Don't make me laugh. When I get backed into a corner, I get panicky. I tend to lash out stronger than I should, admittedly causing a rift that may take weeks to right itself. I will never risk a friendship for a romantic one (again).

So don't you dare suggest that we should become anything other than what we are, or that its impossible to be friends this way, this close. I may be wary of a boyfriend every step of the way, but of a boy/friend/girl/friend, I'm putty.

So, when you rain on my parade, understand that you're asking me to question, and by questioning, to doubt my loved ones. You're asking me to be on guard and suspicious with people who were easy to be with. No, I don't know what it means when we hold hands or sleep together, but it sure as hell isn't your place to ask, and I won't let you warp a perfectly functioning relationship with your misconceptions and preconceived notions of what a relationship is supposed to be. I am lucky to have who I have. Look at it this way, I love my friends, and hopefully, they love me. Its greedy to ask for more.

I don't want to lose my temper, but if i hear the word "fuckbuddy" get carelessly tossed from your piehole one more time, I swear I'm going to tell you that your head's so far up your ass you can chew your food twice. Don't shit on my relationships. If you have to insult me, aim it at me. Please don't act like you nkow the way we work, because if I sure don't, I'll be damned if you think you do. To try and give me a knowing nod and smile, murmuring "mmhmm, surrrrre" makes me frustrated that you'd be arrogant enough to pretend to know, well, anything.

I'm probably overreacting, but is this an honor thing? This post is probably too specific and angry to stay up, but maybe when I figure this out... I'll collect and deal with you I suppose. Because I sure as hell am not going to have this conversation more than once.