"Planet Parenthood."

"Dude, she's perfect! She's into all the same things I am, and loves it!"

"So what's it like dating yourself?"

"Kinda awesome!"

A Shattuck Lunch Hour

"Come on, K, am I like any male you know?"

"..."

"Well. Aside from the matching genitalia."

A Philz Tesora (medium sweet, please!), Cheeseboard (Zucchini, onion, pesto, yum!) and Love At First Bite (luscious mini-strawberry). Then three hours experimenting with plastic and elastic deformation. Mini lesson in accoustic energy from an i-beam of the Bay Bridge. Yes!

Sonnet CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Late Night

I was telling my jewish friend that i love filipinos and was thinkign about joining the P sutdent association or whatnot, and he said:
"..i wanna say you love filipenises....but that's not right....filiboners doesn't work either...."

" 'If they gave you a dollar for every person you slept with, what would you buy?' If they did that, I would have... nothing."

"LIAR"

"what?!"

"WHORE!"

"WHAT!"

"If they gave me a dollar for every person I slept with...I could almost buy a Big Mac meal."

"......"

Upon Contemplation of an Alternate Lifestyle

AFreund: I know what you're thinking: "If only my life was more like Jersey Shore, then all this drama would be worth it."

me: If only I were paid buttloads of money to do absolutely nothing and purposefully incite drama in my life.

If only, if only.

AFreund: Um, not nothing. You need to party all the time. And be pretty slutty.

me: Oh boy. And here I was thinking that that life just might be easier than my current one.

AFreund: No pain, no gain, baby.

Congratulations Y&DC on getting engaged!!!!

I think I'm about to pass out in jealousy and excitement.

Night Mail W.H. Auden

Thousands are still asleep,
Dreaming of terrifying monsters
Or of friendly tea beside the band in Cranston's or Crawford's:
Asleep in working Glasgow, asleep in well-set Edinburgh,
Asleep in granite Aberdeen,
They continue their dreams,
But shall wake soon and hope for letters,
And none will hear the postman's knock
Without a quickening of the heart,
For who can bear to feel himself forgotten? 

I just walked out to get water. On my floor, there are two water fountains. Now solid puke resides in one of them. It's disgusting.

*squeal*

One Teenage (Day)dream

I should write more often. Because of a conversation about the overly casual way netizens scramble to leave their own trail on the internet.

Sustainability. The capacity to endure.

Definitions tossed around her, she wandered elsewhere. Traveling backwards, she felt curiously homesick.

But, you don't understand, she protested. You don't see. They are beauty personified. Sincerity. Hilarity.

And so she dreamt.

But the future is determined to whirl her away from the shore of her mind. So before is she is swept out to sea, she catalogs her sun and moon.

Cataloging those nights, wrapping each in the wrinkled well loved tissue paper of herself, she stored them.

They are precious to me. I need to remember.

Autotuned beats reverberating in the room, warm hugs, tea slapped down in excitement. Laughter drawn from each well.

Girlish squeals over prospective romance while infinitely energied puppies bound through the room.

The night. The chill locked outside. Inside, three bodies sardined and snuggled beneath quilts, arms thrown over each other. This casual affection, leaving the morning unacknowledged. Wasted time together. Laughter cracking unfamiliarity apart in the midst of belting out unknown songs.

Heat of skin on skin, radiating. Smooth, and comfortable, tempered by coolness outside blankets. She felt the strength of a heart beat through her, you see. Faster and stronger than her own, with enough love to capture anyone. Juxtaposition of light and dark.

Watching painted skies through fogged glass.

Little wonder her attention is elsewhere.

She wouldn't give trade a few frustrated days for the rest of it. Confusion.

Time, seasoned as she is, glides along regardless. So she finds the body jailed in a classroom, apart from lovers and friends while the the spirit forays into the mind.

She is starved for affection here. Don't tease the desperate. She craves the comfort in knowing she doesn't face the day alone. The night alone. Nothing has changed, but it still feels emptier without you.

Maybe I should edit my writing. Practice in being cohesive.

P.S. For some reason, I can't edit any of the text's format...it just..goes. on its own.

Somebody who..

"Selfishness is healthy. After a break-up, you absolutely must be selfish. You must immerse yourself in new experiences, activities, relationships to help create a new identity. All of the mental energy you possess must be devoted to repair and self-restoration. Nothing else. Otherwise your identity from the past remains your identity in the present. I don’t want to be the person I was in that relationship- I didn’t love myself. And I don’t love myself as long as I am still hung up on the devastation of it all. You must change EVERYTHING- experiment, risk, explore. Putting yourself out on a limb makes you stronger and more confident. Only you can change, there is nothing external that will initiate the process. I choose my thoughts; I choose my behaviors; I choose my proactivity. No one else can change these things. This is my biggest trap. I want some event to turn it all around, but this isn’t how it works. Change is a daily process- it is a lifestyle. Incremental, not overnight."

You're just a fantasy girl

At this hour, I blast two types of my own music from opposite ends of the room until I can hear it down the hall. Although since my roommate isn't here, I should probably take advantage of it and surround myself with korean music.

Give me affection
I need your perfection
You feel so good
You make me st-st-stutter, st-st-stutter

Cowardly is the heart that never dares to be broken

I will miss SJ.

Bathroom time.

So there we are, in a strange bathroom together. Buttons undone, zipper prematurely down.

Help me.

Bent down, tugging at rolled up jeans.

HRRRUCKKKKKKKKK. STOP FLEXING.

I'M NOT!

AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. Yes.

Cold Toes

I'm only awake right now so I can wait for my gogurt to freeze and eat it.

I think I should have a boycott.

However, I always have a Mancot(t) ready and waiting.

EnEn: boys are oonly great when they're fictional
EnEn: shame, that

Legit.

From one creep to another..

me: oh baby sometimes i just get so sad when you're not around i do crazy things.

Sonnechen: continue...

me: like cutting off my hair. grief. all that.

Sonnechen: ok stop there

the beginning was a good start to a porno

then you ruined it with your hair talk

I am a hater.

Don't call me "dear", you condescending, pompous little twat.

Hiss.

On a side note, I do believe my mother still thinks I'm a lesbian.

And I know that I'm supposed to be patient. That this is a waiting game. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

A Beautiful Revolution

Human

Can you tell me how we got in this situation?
I can't seem to get you off my mind.
All these ups and downs,
they trip up our good intentions.
Nobody said this was easy ride.

Can we get back to the point of this conversation,
when we saw things through each others eyes?
'Cause now all I see is ruin and devastation.
We all need some place we can hide inside, and...

After all, we're only human,
always fighting what we're feeling,
hurt instead of healing.
After all, we're only human.
Is there any other reason why we stay instead of leaving?

I'm smart enough to know,
that life goes by,
and it leaves a trail of broken hearts behind.

The (Unwanted) Anchor

Today I was challenged to freedom.

Oh, but it seemed so silly. Who cares about the difference between a burden and a load?

I live for a cage.

Because of a cage.

Guilt sneaks up behinds me, sliding along my joints, wrapping me in a lover's embrace. Cease struggling, she croons. Cloying breath in my ear.

Then I know nothing else. I am made painfully aware of my faults. Weighed down by guilt.

You deserve nothing less, comes the soft hiss. You did this. You knew.

I know.

Always a tag team, Shame collides into me. Who are you to dream any higher? You, with your secrets? There will never be anyone to understand. Why would they bother with you? You caused this. Remember why they left. Remember why they leave.

You were created inadequate to be inadequate. Sloppy efforts for failed standards.

Vulnerability is overrated.But perhaps, if I could rest my head for a bit, I can at least forget. They say forgiveness starts with the self. But how do you forgive if you know the blame is yours?

Sip Sip Snip.

"You look ugly."

"You too."

I finally did it. After years of hemming and hawing, I lopped off my hair. Well, not me, but I voluntarily watched a short asian man razor it off. You can see my neck. From the back. Oh my oh my. I like it.

"And its a bitter end to a story so sweet, like a long lost friend that's never found a way back to me."

Ugh. Overanalyzing and nonsense when it's all whatevermelons anyway. Fuggedabboudit. You just need to go out more.

"All the lives we could live, all the people we will never know, never will be, they are everywhere. That is what the world is."

He hated this. This silence. Eyes averted. Air between two pairs of lips solidified, muffling those tiny squeaks of air from forming. Words choked on unfinished meaning. Frigid fingers futilely resist the joining, the inevitable intertwining.

It always started at the tips of met fingers. The soft pressure almost seemed underhanded, in a way. He was used to throwing up walls against a barrage of sardonic smiles. The taunting burrowing underneath his skin.

But.

At this silent, soft touch, he yielded. This was a voluntary surrender. She stilled the architecture of his dance to pause in a moment, a minute, a lifetime with her.

Peace. Be Still.

Reckless burned doubt. Oh God, came the whisper. I can't. I was looking for salvation. Please. Don't trust me with this.

And when the end came, he knew he was undone. Across a roaring chasm they stood, silently accusing the other for all the mistakes, the failures. The turns, furious and hasty slapped down like desperate moves by gamblers frantic for movement, any movement, ruined and destroyed by hope.

(Memories of) You still haunt me.

title: Aleksandr Hemon

Heart on fire

Aye, can't sleep. Fking hate this shit.

Allison & Ivan dancing argentine tango
Uploaded by babymilkiss. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

I just want to hold your hand

I just wanna hold her hand, be her man
I wanna know if shed take a chance
Cos I still have not revealed it
Cos I still get the feelin
That lovin her is a game Ill always lose
I got the brown eyed blues

(~4:40)

Rivers and roads,

Rivers and roads,

Rivers 'till I meet you.

The Head and the Heart.

"Surely, all this is not without meaning"

Asu is going to Vegas.

An event, both expected and planned well in advance, that is, in many ways, unremarkable.

But I guess the defining characteristic (at least for me), that this event has so kindly bestowed, is. well.

quite simply.

i will miss her.

again.

^Melville.

On a side note, it surprises me how my stupidity, carelessness, and idiocy surprises me. It's a bit late in the game for it to. I'm also terrible at apologizing.

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

I am confused.

I seemed to have two terribly lonely days, then two days that left me tired but content.

I would be asking for the impossible. Show me an alternate ending.

title by the Oscar Wilde

The Compadres

"Dude, guys, we should go to New Zealand."

"Oh my god I want to go!"

"Yeah?! I want to go jump off the New Zealand cliffs!"

"I WANT TO GO ON THE LORD OF THE RINGS TOUR."

Clearly a chasm in interest has no effect on a mutual destination.Never say they aren't really, truly themselves

You felt just like the sun.