Today I was challenged to freedom.
Oh, but it seemed so silly. Who cares about the difference between a burden and a load?
I live for a cage.
Because of a cage.
Guilt sneaks up behinds me, sliding along my joints, wrapping me in a lover's embrace. Cease struggling, she croons. Cloying breath in my ear.
Then I know nothing else. I am made painfully aware of my faults. Weighed down by guilt.
You deserve nothing less, comes the soft hiss. You did this. You knew.
I know.
Always a tag team, Shame collides into me. Who are you to dream any higher? You, with your secrets? There will never be anyone to understand. Why would they bother with you? You caused this. Remember why they left. Remember why they leave.
You were created inadequate to be inadequate. Sloppy efforts for failed standards.
Vulnerability is overrated.But perhaps, if I could rest my head for a bit, I can at least forget. They say forgiveness starts with the self. But how do you forgive if you know the blame is yours?
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