Life's Medicine Cabinet

Yes.
That could've gone much worse.
Maybe i screamed and cried it all out of me, but i feel much better!

I hope I'm not doing this for myself. But I care, and something tears at me to see this.
I know there's better than this.


I see other things, other people, other problems reflected in you.


I don't know how to not care about people. When people leave (because, of course, nothing lasts forever) they leave holes in me. Little people-shaped holes, and it seems to me that i'm vainly trying to do everything just to keep loving and keep stomping my way through life.

Surely, this isn't right.
Affection shouldn't shock or surprise.
Clearly, I should be trying harder.

oskar: idk what i'm suppose to say

oskar: i feel

oskar: exalted

oskar: lol

oskar: revered by your love

k: i care about you

v: THANKS ^^

k: -.= i hope you're not being sarcastic

k: and i'm also telling you this because

k: remember before i asked you how you not care about people

k: i don't know how to do that

k: so you're stuck with me

k: =.-

v: it's a gift and a curse >:]

v: i'm not being sarcastic, i really appreciate it

v: no one have told me that since forever.

"Understand," she begged. "That's all i want from you. The best for you"


Let's go back to the basics.
I am called by God to love other people.

I'm going to spend tomorrow trying to love as best i can. this usually results in frustration (and some leakyness of the eyes)
HOWEVER


Jesus, this only reminds me of what i want to do...


I will love harder. There's too little of it, anyways.



Edit:
Soooooo....
today i was ridiculously happy to see oskar :D i have no idea why. it was like a childish happiness and excitement. No particular reason, I just discovered that I missed him! And I couldn't stop hugging him and telling him so. Quite odd. Maybe my brain was just inflated with happy feelings, but I just felt all loveydovey towards him (I hope no one's interpreting this the wrong way)
And I ran to pick up e from work :) That was fun! I like screaming walking rants
i really like those two :X idk i'm feeling absurdly content with spending days and days just squeezing the life out of them.
Oh! And i saw tina at school today! She's so adorable i just want to squeeze her till she drops dead :)
adorable adorable.
TNB was pretty crazy, but smiled a lot more, and I love seeing that. I just wish it wasn't only when TNB was brushing his teeth. Laughs a lot more, too. and friendly.